hair decision

I had my last relaxer the first week of October. So for the past few months, I've been reading everyone's hair blogs on how to care for hair - whether curly, natural, transitioning using heat or not using heat or just stretching their relaxers.

At one point I was ready to big chop then the next moment I was about to go back to relaxing. I didn't know if I was transitioning, stretching or what I was doing. This also goes back to the point that I cannot style my own hair. Never have! I grew up with pigtails, pony tails, and roller sets. So trying to figure out how to style my hair has a lot to do with my decision.

As an adult I relied on salons to care for my hair. When I couldn't go to the salon or a stylist moved - I was stuck!

Even now, I scour all the sites for styles and I'm still stuck, but I am no longer intimidated by my hair. I got rid of the fear and I get in the bathroom shampoo, condition, blow dry, sit under the dryer, etc.

I've reflected on how my mom cared for my hair growing up - when my hair was the healthiest, strongest, thicker and longer. And while her regimen is considered taboo these days (hot comb, plenty of grease) - it worked!

So, the decision I've come to... is that I will remain natural. I will not relax anymore. I will not big chop. I will work with my hair as much as I can. I will visit the new Dominican salon that I found right in my own neighborhood right in upstate NY. So I don't feel that I have to make a trip to Rosalina's in Harlem.

Now... have I had major growth or any hair breakthroughs? No. My kitchen (hair at the nape) is still not looking the way I want it which limits my styling choices. But I do have less breakage. My hair is still very dry.

My next step is to continue moisturizing my hair, continue to try new products as needed and make the occasional salon visit.

So far in my hair journey I've found a few products and regimens that have helped a bit.

* moisturizing my scalp
* deep conditioning every time I wash at home or at the salon
* occasional temporary color (i dont mind my grey but sometimes its a bit much)
* silk scarf and satin pillow
* taking biotin daily
* simple styles (i know... boring, but so am I)
* only experiment with hair on wash day
* wash hair every two weeks (I started this in February, before I washed weekly)
* more water, veggies and fruit and exercise daily
* not to measure growth or worry about my hair
* no more bad hair dressers (I will not tolerate any salon that is ghetto, makes me wait to long, is too pricey or the stylist is rude)

I was getting to the point where I was obsessing about my hair, products and growth. This was unhealthy. I reviewed many other hair blogs and realized that with care, gentleness, the right products and most importantly... time - which could be years - that hair will be healthy and grow. So for me to think that in a couple of months I could grow my hair... not happening (I was fooling myself). Now am I planting the seeds for future stronger hair - I hope so!

I have a few more product reviews and other ideas - so keep checking and feel free to comment on any of my postings. I welcome all ideas, thoughts, products and your experiences!

my hair, my life...

When I relaxed my hair in June 2008, although my hair looked good - it wasn't. I knew my kitchen (hair at the back of my head) was a mess. my ends were raggedy and i was really ready to just chop my hair off. The stylist even suggested that I lay off the relaxers a bit.

So i started to just let my hair go. Yes, I am a mess like that. I have a job in a casual environment - so I thought - let me just leave my hair alone.

Well, of course as things would have it... I get called for a job interview. Its more $, growth and I do need to get away from the people I work with before.... well, moving on...

So early October, I head into Manhattan to my favorite salon, Rosalina's. Its on Amsterdam Avenue in Harlem.

I got the works - relaxer, deep conditioner, some color and my eyebrows done! Yes, when I am able to get to NYC - I take full advantage!

I looked great and yes the hair was in a bit more better shape.

So I think that I may be onto something.... I neglect my hair but once relaxed I could see it struggling to get healthy.

So I get to work online - researching, checking everyone's website, blogs, pics, hair diaries. This helps in one aspect. I realize that we all want beautiful hair. I realize it can be done. Even relaxed african-american hair. I also realize that I have to work at it.

I have to eat better, exercise, take better care of my hair, relearn how to do my hair and experiment. And this is what i plan to do. I also learned that I do not have to relax my hair as often.

So just as I've decided that I will let my hair be - meaning chemical free and the above regimen.... I may have a job offer.

Now what to do? Just as I've accepted my transitioning hair and am still struggling to style it, I still havent been able to manage my hair. Although I am a huge fan of all hairstyles - particularly natural. I am not a fan of walking around a professional setting with messy hair - no matter what the length, texture, etc.

So until i get final word on this job or unless my kitchen grows in rapidly and stronger, I guess I will be returning to the salons. Which I must add, I hate the salons in my current area (upstate NY).

But I too will continue the active process of growing my hair - healthy!

I will wrap in my silk scarf. I will shampoo, deep condition weekly and use very little heat.

So if you see me in the streets, try no to laugh too hard! I'm just trying to grow out my hair!!

Peace