dont just buy the flowers at the funeral - try beforehand!

ok, recently we have had a string of celebrity deaths. i've actually just been getting my news from the internet because I can't take the tv broadcasts of the same old stuff over and over.

anyway, i think what really astounds me is that although we are in constant contact with our people - via cell phones, twitter, email, etc. we can now be contacted anywhere at any day or time and i wonder how many times we are actually telling the people we care for that we love and appreciate them in our lives.

at age 42 i have very few family members living. so its ALWAYS important for me to tell my kids that i love them and am proud of them. not just on the day my son received his writing award. but today when he met me at work as he was going for his run. my other son struggles in school but he really did make an effort to complete all his school work this year and cares about his grades more than previous years - for that - I am proud of him. all in all, my kids are good kids. they dont have girls in my house while i am at work, not drinking or smoking. i am proud that they have their own healthy interests and are positive young men. i dont hesitate to let them know they make me so happy and i want to continue this bond that we have as they get older.

i also try to remember my friends' b-days, send them emails to check up on them especially now. my various friends have bought houses and have small children and i know the economy has them a bit spent. so sending a friendly email just to tell them i am thinking about them - i hope helps their spirit and lets them know that they can also let me know if they need anything (maybe not $$, but a reference, advise, plan a visit, etc.)

but life is not easy. especially for african-american people. yes, even in this day and age. we work harder, live harder and are a very proud group of people. but we have got to stop showing all our love to people after they have passed on. we have got to step up and love each other in the present - while we are alive and kicking.

but where is the support? when are we going to support, guide, educate and congratulate, while we are alive and not just on holidays and at funerals....

so please try to reach out to your own people. invite a sister over for tea. volunteer to braid your cousins hair, call up your aunties. give your partner/mate a hug to show them you love them. tell your co-worker you like her shoes, accompany your kids on a school trip, volunteer at your church, youth league, etc.

also, try to remember that there are many people who distance their selves from communities of color. see it for what it is. many of these celebs that we constantly see in the media are pushing products; for us to buy. yes, us cash strapped consumers should remember to buy/see their crap. these celebs do not care about our people in the drug war, dangerous communities, limited career opportunities, lack of decent housing, etc.

recently at an awards program at my kids school - i heard a very moving story about LL Cool J. he was contacted about a teenage girl several years ago that was dying. he not only visited her here in upstate ny but sent a limo to pick her up from here and took her to NYC to have an evening out on the town.

i am a fan of his now (and not only because we are both from Queens)!

but this is what I am talking about. you are supposed to use your talent, fame $$ to help others.

i still find it incredible that Brad Pitt is the only major celeb still caring and more importantly rebuilding Louisiana....

so before we go and celebrate others (people we dont even know) try to celebrate yourself, your people and community.

Movie Review - He's Just Not That Into You

Ok, so I get the chance to grab my homie and catch a chick flick, He's Just Not That Into You.

Now, I have to admit entering the movie theater at my age (41) was a bit intimidating. Does everyone have to be under 30 to catch a chick flick? So I was beginning to think I should have just went to see The Dark Knight in IMAX (but I would hate to have to come home and have hubby tell me what dork I was for seeing it again). (Although I want to see it again badly.....)

But I like chick flicks because it creates dialogue among women. On an average day, I work, take care of house, spend time with hubby and sons so I dont get much 'girly-time'. Meaning that I can't expect to talk to my family about hair, lotions, gaining weight, etc. And even though I cant really relate to dating issues - I just like to hear what other women are going through. Its just like seeing someone with a great haircut, I may not want that style for myself, but I can appreciate it and like it.

So I welcome the time with my homie, A. She is a mom of 2 beautiful daughters. So she also needed a break from watching just Disney crap and High School Musical. Sorry Disney, your stuff is legendary but as moms, we can kinda OD on your products after a bit.

This movie is a 4 out of 5 stars. It was enjoyable, interesting and funny. It has a ton of celebs like Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, and a ton more that you would recognize from other movies and shows like Entourage and Dawsons's Creek.

This flick is about dating and finding the right mate for you. The main characters either are conflicted about their current relationship or currently looking to enter a relationship.

What was a telling part about the movie was the beginning when a girl gets beat up by a boy in the sand box and how her mother consoles her with the whole 'he likes you, that's why he beat you up'. And how men and women can be twisted about certain signals we get from others (are they interested/they arent interested) -- ahh, confusing. Anyway, its a great movie! Go grab your friends - male and female and go check it out! Yes, I do think a guy would enjoy this too. Its not heavily sex and city like -- that is a pure gal thing!

Oh, I have to add this! As an african-american woman, I loved the way there were people of color all over this movie. None were in a leading role, but many were in party scenes, an open house, dining out, etc. I like this because it represents the country that we live in -- a multi-cultural one!


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508