dont just buy the flowers at the funeral - try beforehand!

ok, recently we have had a string of celebrity deaths. i've actually just been getting my news from the internet because I can't take the tv broadcasts of the same old stuff over and over.

anyway, i think what really astounds me is that although we are in constant contact with our people - via cell phones, twitter, email, etc. we can now be contacted anywhere at any day or time and i wonder how many times we are actually telling the people we care for that we love and appreciate them in our lives.

at age 42 i have very few family members living. so its ALWAYS important for me to tell my kids that i love them and am proud of them. not just on the day my son received his writing award. but today when he met me at work as he was going for his run. my other son struggles in school but he really did make an effort to complete all his school work this year and cares about his grades more than previous years - for that - I am proud of him. all in all, my kids are good kids. they dont have girls in my house while i am at work, not drinking or smoking. i am proud that they have their own healthy interests and are positive young men. i dont hesitate to let them know they make me so happy and i want to continue this bond that we have as they get older.

i also try to remember my friends' b-days, send them emails to check up on them especially now. my various friends have bought houses and have small children and i know the economy has them a bit spent. so sending a friendly email just to tell them i am thinking about them - i hope helps their spirit and lets them know that they can also let me know if they need anything (maybe not $$, but a reference, advise, plan a visit, etc.)

but life is not easy. especially for african-american people. yes, even in this day and age. we work harder, live harder and are a very proud group of people. but we have got to stop showing all our love to people after they have passed on. we have got to step up and love each other in the present - while we are alive and kicking.

but where is the support? when are we going to support, guide, educate and congratulate, while we are alive and not just on holidays and at funerals....

so please try to reach out to your own people. invite a sister over for tea. volunteer to braid your cousins hair, call up your aunties. give your partner/mate a hug to show them you love them. tell your co-worker you like her shoes, accompany your kids on a school trip, volunteer at your church, youth league, etc.

also, try to remember that there are many people who distance their selves from communities of color. see it for what it is. many of these celebs that we constantly see in the media are pushing products; for us to buy. yes, us cash strapped consumers should remember to buy/see their crap. these celebs do not care about our people in the drug war, dangerous communities, limited career opportunities, lack of decent housing, etc.

recently at an awards program at my kids school - i heard a very moving story about LL Cool J. he was contacted about a teenage girl several years ago that was dying. he not only visited her here in upstate ny but sent a limo to pick her up from here and took her to NYC to have an evening out on the town.

i am a fan of his now (and not only because we are both from Queens)!

but this is what I am talking about. you are supposed to use your talent, fame $$ to help others.

i still find it incredible that Brad Pitt is the only major celeb still caring and more importantly rebuilding Louisiana....

so before we go and celebrate others (people we dont even know) try to celebrate yourself, your people and community.

Product Giveaway - African Pride Leave In Conditioner

Hello --

It has been a year since I started to really get disgusted with the ritual of relaxing my hair. I went for a touch-up last June and not only was I not please with the health of my hair but my stylist wasn't either.

I then started my internet search for healthy black hair and wound up with a ton of information from some very intelligent, courageous, devoted women on youtube, various hair care forums, blogs, etc.

I was motivated. I was afraid. I've had my hair relaxed since I was 19. Could I really give it up? My agonizing went on for some time. Did I really want to go through all of that hair shedding and experimenting with my hair? Even as a kid, I had my mother around to figure out what to do with my hair.

I also had damaged hair and was unsure if I would ever be able to grow healthy hair again.

So fast forward to today... these are my observations - my hair is healthier. Although I don't have much in length, I have a full growing hairline. Not that I really had an obvious problem but I guess I did because I haven't seen my hair grow so thick.

I am moving away from heat styling and salons.

I know that most products are hype.

I also realize that just because I don't relax my hair anymore doesn't mean I will instantly have longer hair. I stumbled across a comment someone had on their blog recently and I really appreciated their honesty. They said that their healthy bsl hair took about 10 years to get it to its peak, current condition.

So here I am a year later, still learning about my hair. I hope that although I don't have the prettiest blog, plenty of pics or have all the latest products that I can at least share some good information with others.

Well -- to celebrate a year of healthy thoughts and welcome the summer - here is my first giveaway.

I cannot keep products that I am not using. So I have a USED bottle of African Pride Herbal Healing Leave-In Conditioner. I've used this product a few times. More than half is left in the bottle. I haven't used it in a few months and hope someone else can use it.

So all I ask is the following - follow my blog, post a comment on how you feel about your own hair journey (happy, unhappy, still experimenting, etc.) and most of all I am paying for the shipping so please only participate if you are in the states!

You have until next Sunday, June 21st. I will select a winner on Monday, June 22nd. Good Luck!!

Product Review - Bath & Body Works - White Citrus

Wow - Bath & Body Works knows how to keep me coming back for more. How dare they make me change my favorite scents so often.

Well, Gabby who represents Bath and Body Works, forwarded me White Citrus. This is part of their Signature Collection. Once again, thank you Gabby for checking my blog! Its great to have the companies pay attention to the consumers.

To give you an idea of what this smells like - this is what is listed for the scent: crisp lemon, grapefruit, waterlily and ginger flower.

What I have to add: is this is a must have!! White Citrus is my latest love!!

This is a crisp, light, and fresh fragrance. This is such a smooth smelling scent that you can wear it everywhere - for work or for an evening out.

It is the perfect scent because its not overwhelming but I still can feel like I'm wearing a scent.

The Bath & Body Works scents are my absolute favorite because it actually puts me in a mood for the whole day. When I drag myself out of bed in the morning, I use the shower gel which is a great mix of suds and scent and follow with a light lotion. Like I've mentioned in previous reviews - it enhances my mood instantly and peps me up. I have no problem running out the door.

Even though I lead a pretty routine day, these scents keep me going all day. And without having to sneak in the ladies' room and reapplying like I've done with other brands.

Also, in most workplaces - it is frowned upon to come to work heavily scented. These scents are enhancing and not 'loud' in the least.

What I love about B&BW products is that you can buy your scents for many purposes. They have smaller sizes which are great for traveling or carrying in your purse, larger sizes for home use, shower gels, anti-bacterial soap, room sprays, and diffusers.

So if you are looking for a light crisp scent, need to get a gift for a grad or bridal shower gift - do yourself a favor and check out White Citrus!

For more information on this particular scent, please check out the following link -

http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=3583639&cp=2073259